Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
