O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
