Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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