i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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