I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
