Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
