Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
