"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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