me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
