it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just blew my weed a kiss
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
