i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
