chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
