i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
