My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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