I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
