dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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