you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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