Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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