If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
