Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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