I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I feel like abortions should bother me more
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
