Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
