Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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