Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
