There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
