When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
