So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
