I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
