Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
