It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
