i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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