Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
It's Friday. Sex?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
