This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
