Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
