He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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