New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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