On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
