His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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