Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
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