Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
