Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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