People in love make me want to vomit
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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