They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Sober January is a disaster.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
