I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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