yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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