My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
