I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
