Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
