he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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