There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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