Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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