My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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