My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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