It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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