you traded sex for a burrito?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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