You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
